Charity Bazaar

"I'm not happy."

Charity Bazaar is a character featured on Histeria!, voiced by Laraine Newman. The female lead of the Histeria! Kid Chorus (just only beating out her friend Aka Pella in terms of screen time), her main personality trait is that she is usually depicted as being very depressed, as shown by her catchphrase, "I'm not happy." She is often seen dressed as an American Pilgrim, in some way even when the other kids are dressed in their normal outfits.

In a sketch revolving around Joseph Stalin as Froggo's buddy, Charity is shown with her father, who, upon the both of them being arrested by the KGB, claims that she's adopted. If this statement is to be believed, whatever happened to her biological parents is perhaps the stem of her eternal depression. However, some fans realize that the man Charity addresses as her father is only an actor, and that she is not adopted at all.

Some light is not filled on Charity's personality in the episode "When America Was Young". One sketch featured in the episode revolves around Charity and her friends trying to stop Daniel Boone from tearing down a forest. Charity shows her gentle side by gently petting the animals as she points out that the forest is their natural habitat (except during winter, Cho-Cho points out, when they migrate to Boca Raton). She takes the most defiant stand for the animals out of the group, telling Boone that "I would rather die than let you ruin this land," only shaking her loyalty when he offers to give her a cookie. Likewise, Charity shows even more defiance in the next sketch in the same episode, based on the Salem witch trials. Here, Charity accuses her teacher (played by Molly Pitcher) of being a witch, which she later admits that she has only done because she did never want to do her math homework.

Nevertheless, Charity dons a decent smile whenever she sings in the Kid Chorus, which seems to be her biggest recurring role on the show. If the aforementioned incident with Daniel Boone is to be taken into account, she is perhaps being promised with cookies in order to show a happily behavior.

Charity has also been implied to have connections to extraterrestrial life. In a sketch about the Transcontinental Railroad featured in "General Sherman's Campsite", she asks Harriet Tubman if she would like to "fly home with [Charity] to Mars on the mothership" (which Tubman refuses). Even more implication of this is given in the "Strange Coincidences" sketch in "Americana", where Charity and her polar opposite Pepper Mills host a show pointing out the strange fact that Abe Lincoln and Charles Darwin were both born on the same day. At the end of said sketch, Charity literally unzips herself to explain that she is apparently an alien herself, but this was most likely meant entirely as a joke, since in the final sketch featured in that episode, Charity reappears in her usual human form.

Character jingle lyrics

 * The cute little girl in the whole wide world,
 * Our next cartoon features Charity Bazaar!


 * Charity Bazaar: I'm not happy... but, i am.


 * That's Charity Bazaar!